It's Christmas Eve~...

Happy Yuletide to one and all~..

Wishing you all a very Happy Yuletide, now the Festival can really get started!

Have fun and keep safe and may all your hopes and dreams come togeather in 2009~...

Blessings to you all~..

ECG results are in...

And they are fine!!!! YAY!! Thats a weight of my shoulders now i can really start to enjoy the festive season..

There is a light at the end of the tunnel!

Iv been feeling a lot better these past few days and so far, touch wood, iv been free from a power surge for the past four days, gets a little dodgy in the evening but nothing like the past month!

Winter has come to the shores of the UK, but not here in Gloucester, which is a shame, I'm sure the Coltswolds have had a light dusting, and its times like this when i do miss the car.. Most of the North has been covered in quite a bit of snow and although its pretty i do hope everyone is safe and the Homeless have somewhere to go to get warm food and blankets..

I just want to be me again

Happy birthday to me, 40 years old, where has the time gone? I remember celebrating my 30th like it was yesterday, 10 years have flown passed me so fast i feel a little sick, but hey, they say life begins at 40, so bring it on!

My tree went up yesterday, i saw a few homes decorated and so it got me in the mood also.. My blood results came back normal, but no idea about the ECG results, but i have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow so hopefully i will know more then! I'm sleeping in better and the power surges have subsided a little in the mornings, and they seem to be getting better at night, although i did have one about 8.30 last night that upset me a little... I'm still convinced I'm going to have a fit when i go through them and i walk to talk to the doctor more about that...

Party season begins tomorrow and the countdown to Yuletide begins.. Have a wonderful Sunday ~

Day 25..

Had my blood test done now all i have to do is wait until Friday for the results, no ECG results until then either.. I was a little shaky at first to go to the Doctors, but then my sister came with me, and as long as someone is with me i feel fine!

5 days until the big 4 0, and i feel numb about it, I'm not even going to celebrate it, well, that's how i feel today, maybe when I'm feeling better i might like to do something.

The weathers really cold here i just noticed a frost on the cars as i opened the curtains, still no snow, but they are saying the weathers going to get mild again and then cold at the weekend, but a little colder than we have had..

Can't wait until Dec the 1st, i can put the tree up, YAY!!!!

Day 24..

Blood tests today. Been an OK weekend, a few power surges , but a quiet one. I'm hoping they will also have my ECG results today. We never saw any snow here, did you?

Day 22..

I'm putting my tree up soon, next Sunday or Monday, Yay!, cant wait. Iv got some bits already up, like my little tree in the kitchen, that have dried sliced oranges hanging on and my Snowmen are gathered throughout the Living room. The picture here was taken last year but you get an idea of what the mantle looks like, that will also go up in the next week!

I'm feeling a lot better this morning, i awoke at 4.10, let the cat out at 5, and went back to bed until 7, i have not done that for quite a few years, so my body is starting to settle down, at last. I'm still not well enougth to go out for my birthday but there will be plenty of time to do that when I'm feeling a lot better..

We have a big chill coming to the UK shores over the next few days, it hasn't hit Gloucestershire that bad yet, but I'm sure the Cotswold's and the Forest might be lucky and see a little snow.. Wherever you may be have a safe and wonderful weekend.

Day 20..

Iv had a really bad turn, it seems my power surges have increased and with them comes a coldness within the body, now this really frightened me but the Doctors assure me its all part of the illness.. I have an appointment on Monday for blood tests and the doctor has increased the dosage of the tablets and i slept quite well last night. Iv also asked my Doctor if i could talk to someone who can help me deal with the situation and to understand it better, its all well and good taking a pill, but i want to know why this has started to happen and help myself on the road to recovery and getting 'me' back again.. November was supposed to be an account of my feelings leading up to my 4oth, but it seems the power surges have been taken over the posts, but then im sure its all connected in some way...

Day 17...

Yesterday, my son and i went into town to get some more bits for Christmas, where i had a funny turn while waiting in a line to pay for the goods. I knew something was going to happen because i had the shakes before i even left the house, but i knew that i had to fight it and get on with my day, plus i had also made plans to visit my friend, so it was necessary for me to get out.. I was OK though and the minute i had paid for the goods and left the shop i was feeling a lot better...

I managed to bag myself a really good bargain regarding a camera i brought my both myself and Sage, but its a present for Christmas, so i cant use it yet, but the minute i do, you will all be bombarded with lots of pictures..

Its half way through the month now and the dreaded 4 0 is fast approaching, and at the moment i feel OK about it, i cant really put down in words how i feel at the moment, because i don't know how i feel or how to explain how i feel. The minute i do, i will express it here, until then, have a really great Monday...

Day 14..

I love this picture on the left, but i can not remember where i got it from on the Internet, so please leave me a comment if its yours and i will of course give you credit..

Yesterday, i managed to get some more Christmas shopping done and almost had a turn in the Supermarket again! I think its because its so bright and hot in there its enougth to make anyone have power surges.. The results regarding the ECG will be at my Doctors in about 2 weeks, so i can finally find out if these palpitations/flutterings are anything to worry about. I just found out that my Grandmother on my dads side of the family, died in her twenties because she was born with a hole in her heart! I never knew her and that's a shame.

Im still not looking forward to my 40th, but its fast approaching, im hoping that once it passes i can finally begin to have some fun, after all they do say life begins then.. LOL....

Day 13...

I have the ECG still fitted to me and I'm telling you i will be more than happy to have it removed later this morning, the pads make my skin itchy. I did manage to go into town yesterday and do some Christmas shopping, so I'm pleased with that, since i have to go back to the Hospital this morning i shall go and do a bit more before some food shopping and getting back home.

I feel OK, getting up early still, but that's due to my bladder and not being able to get back to sleep. I can not believe that its just over 2 weeks until i celebrate being 40, well, i wouldn't say celebrate, more like face it head on. Still don't know if i can face going out into town for the evening so I'm leaning towards the Chinese takeaway at mine, maybe buy a really great DVD and just hang out with my friends and family.

Day 11 and Day 12..

Yesterday was a good day, well, i managed to go to the post office and Asda and not one funny moment.. Today i have to go to the Hospital for an ECG, so I'm hoping I'm gonna feel OK to walk there, its only down the road from me, i might even go into town after and do a bit of Christmas shopping if i feel up to it... Any how, not long now til the big day, and i still cant decide what to do, maybe as time draws nearer and i start to feel better i can make my mind up then.. I still get feelings that unnerve me about getting older, and the fact that the last 10 years have disappeared like they have has really scared the hell out of me!

They say life begins at 40, erm, we shall see!

Day 10..

10 Days already, wow, time is really moving fast!.. Today has been a weird day, iv felt out of it for most of the day,i have not had another attack but i do feel them there, lurking within the shadows, ready to pounce on me when i least expect it. I think the tablets i have been given are best taken at night, it seems an hour or so after taking them i need to sleep, that's not so good for the mornings when i need to go out and deal with my chores... Iv made some Pumpkin muffins for Sage and the smell is intoxicating, i must go and check on them, so, until tomorrow, have a wonderful day/evening..

Remembrance Sunday & Day 9..

(Picture found at Google)

“2008 marks the 90th anniversary of the end of the First World War, when nearly 1 million British men perished and many more returned home injured. Remembrance Sunday, and indeed Armistice Day on the eleventh, give us a chance to quietly remember the many men and women who have fought for the freedom we enjoy, and continue to do so today.” (Chris Simpkins, Director General of The Royal British Legion )

My thanks to all those fallen hero's and to those that continue to fight for our freedom, you are all Hero's...

Yesterday was a good day, I'm still a little tired from the past week but yesterday i smiled and i laugthed and that's good enougth for me.. I would love to take the dog out for a good walk today so I'm hoping I'm up for that in a few hours. The weather is really wet and windy, but i love it like this..

Last night Sage and myself settled down in his bedroom window and watched fireworks kick off all around us, we had a great time and we never even got wet or cold! Thanks neighbours that was some show.. Don't you just love Bonfire night, although it does baffle me that we celebrate the man that was really a terrorist and almost blew up the houses of Parliament!

Day 8...

(Picture by Google)

The doctor has prescribed me some Anti Depressants that also deal with Panic attacks, it seems this strong, confident, independent women has finally become a loony toon, LOL, I'm laughing at that by the way, if i cant still have my sense of humor, than iv well and truly had it!.. I'm just so glad iv finally been diagnosed after months of thinking there was something really wrong with me.I can now walk the path to getting better and back on track and maybe start to embrace my forties with a smile on my face.

There is nothing more scary than a panic attack, and its the most scariest thing i have been through in my life and iv seen some scary stuff. The thing that frightened me the most was the feeling that i was going to have some kind of seizure/fit, especially in front of Sage.That's the last thing a twelve year old boy wants to witness. Anyhow, yesterday was an OK day and i managed to get out for a walk with a friend, it was good to be about to breathe in some fresh air after spending so long inside.. Tomorrow is Remembrance Sunday and i should remember our fallen hero's and those that are still fighting, that's a post for tomorrow though.

Day 7..

A doctor is coming out to see me at home today, after another Power surge last night!

Day 6..

It all went tits up yesterday, and a doctor was called out, i was given some tablets that seem to control the dizzy spells and the feeling of wanting to freak out, big time!, and that seems to have done the job. Another day of resting, but that's driving me mad, i really want to go out for a walk..

So the Cat has woken me up at 4.30 and again I'm unable to go back to sleep, so I'm here, in front of the PC, yet again in the small hours of the morning. My neck is killing me and I'm debating whether to take one of those tablets, I'm only allowed to take 2 a day so I'm a little worried about starting the course so early in the morning, but it was round about 5.30 am yesterday it all went mad! When I'm feeling a little better i will go into more detail about how I'm actually feeling...

Oh, a quick note, good choice of the right decision yesterday, i personally believe the right man was elected by the Citizens of the US, yes even here in the UK we were rooting for this man... Way to go!

Day 4 and day 5...

It seems i missed posting yesterday, and yesterday i had a really bad attack, not sure whats going on, i need to call a doctor out today.. Im sick of feeling sick!

Day 3...

Not good today, seems i have taken 2 steps backwards.. Im resting, lets hope tomorrow is a better day!

Day 2...

I feel OK, but still a little shaky on my feet, my temperature has gone down and the dizzy spells are less frequent. How do i feel within my self, OK, i had another restful sleep and slept a full seven hours without waking up... The weathers rather spooky, its misty, windy and very grey, it has rained all night and its chilly, but i love these days, the coziness of wrapping up in your winter woollies and snuggling up on the sofa while you watch the weather unfolding outside...

I can't decide what to do for my 40th, i will be with friends and family whatever, but i cant decide whether to go out into the local town and party out there, or have everyone round mine and order a Chinese takeaway? I don't go out , i cant remember the last time i went out into the unknown to party, i don't drink, although i have promised myself one Southern Comfort to celebrate being 40, or is that to forget I'm hitting 40?...LOL.. I thought about a party, but then with the economic crisis the way it is and Yuletide only around the corner i decided not to, going to see a live band is the next idea and as long as i feel OK within myself then its into the unknown we go,otherwise its the Chinese takeaway and good company in my home..

What did you do for your 40th? Answers on a postcard! (or just leave me a comment)

The Countdown, Day 1..

I will try and make a post every day during November, leading up to the 30th, which by the way is my 40th!, as some of you know, i have had massive issues with reaching this milestone, so much so that i now have Panic attacks, one which was really bad at the weekend.. So, even if its one word, i will post how i feel every day leading up to that Birthday.

So, this morning i awoke having slept through the night for the first time in ages, although the viris i seem to have caught over the past few days is still hanging on in there, but at least the room has stopped spinning and my neck feels like its still attached to my head! I look in the mirror and i still look pale and those wrinkles under the eyes seem a little too eager this morning. My head is hurting so its a mug of coffee and a paracetomol.. Lets see what the day brings as i take my first step closer to my 40th this month.. Wish me luck!!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, SAMHAIN

Yes im ignoring the door!

I'm afraid this year there's no Trick or Treating at my house, the older youths have spoilt it for the younger children this time. Last year some teenagers knocked on the door Trick or treating and were very rude, when i pulled them up on it they abused me and came back later and gave my door a good kicking, not to say this put me on edge all night last year and I'm not going through that again this time round... So, the lights are off, there's a homemade sign on my door and I'm not answering it, so if anyone knocks, I'm ignoring you!

Shame that!

On a lighter note, the Pumpkins are carved, the cake will be baked tomorrow and a DVD brought, the lights will be off, the Pumpkins lite and a glowing and Sage and i are going to enjoy a film together.. Those of you out there having fun, be safe!

Watch out all 'Ye poets

My son Sage is having some written work of his published within a book in January 2009, I'm so proud of him. The poem is about the Environment, and we have ordered our first book. I will post more nearer the time and of course a picture of the poem in the book.. Well done Sage, my wonderful author.

Pumpkin Cake

(Picture from Google)

Pumpkin Cake is almost like Carrot cake but a little more spicy and one of my favorites, ever since i made it last year out of the pulp left over from the Halloween carving that Sage and myself do at Halloween.. Normally i don't make anything with the flesh, as we both don't like Pumpkin, but i discovered this recipe in an Asda Magazine and thought i would give it a go, best thing i ever did, and i will therefore be making this again this year and now it will become a tradition within our family...

Heres the recipe for you in case your intreasted..

• 300g plain flour
• 2tsp baking powder
• 1tsp cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp grated nutmeg
• 1/4 tsp ground cloves
• 125g butter
• 275g soft brown sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 300g pumpkin, pureed
• 75g currents
• 75g walnuts, crushed
• 3tbsp milk

For the icing

• 100g butter
• 200g icing sugar
• 2tbsp orange juicegrated
• zest of 1 orange

Pre heat the oven to 180C/ gas 4

Grease two cake tins and sift together the spices, flour, baking powder..

Beat the sugar and the butter together until light and fluffy, add the eggs, one at a time and beat adding 1tbsp of flour with the last egg.

fold in the remaining flour, pumpkin, currents and walnuts, and then pour into the cake tins and bake for about 40 minutes.

To make the icing beat the butter, icing sugar and orange juice together in a bowl until fluffy add some of the zest leaving some to decorate the cake after..

Use the cream to sandwich the cake together and use the rest to spread of top, adding the rest of the zest for decoration and enjoy..

Enjoy and please let me know, if like me, your not a fan of Pumpkin but love this cake...

Things i like and dislike

10 things i love

• My son
• Wildlife and Nature
• Winter/Yule
• Chocolate
• Country Cottages
• Scotland
• Rain hitting the windows, while I'm all snuggled up by a real log fire
• Watching the seasons change
• Having my feel tickled/massaged/scratched
• Christmas trees

10 things i dislike

• Drunken people
• Loud noisy neighbours/passersby
• Rudeness/Bad manners
• Being cold
• Being woken up at 4.30 in the morning by a cat jumping on my head
• Bad haircuts
• Chavs
• Dirty homes
• Hot sticky weather
• Spiders

Haha, would love to see this in my neighbourhood, would certainly put a smile on many a face! I'm really sorry but i don't know where i first got this picture from, its not my own work, so if any one knows where the credit should go please leave me a comment..

Fall/Autumn has finally arrived, i could smell Autumn in the air as i opened the back door last night, the smell of bonfires, although i don't think anyone had a fire going, theres still that smell that lingers within the crisp Autumnal night air.

Halloween here in the UK is not celebrated as big and as important as they do over the great pond in the US, unless you follow a Pagan Path here in the UK and then its not done with such style, although i am seeing it change, especially in the shops with all the Halloween goodies out there. However i have noticed that many of the US bloggers love to decorate a seasons alter which i think is a fantastic idea, one which is done within my family, although only at the Sabbats and festivals that we follow, on our Enchanted paths, but it has got me thinking and so i have decorated our little alter in Halloween/Fall/ Autumn theme, sorry no pictures, we don't own a digital camera (well, not until Yule anyways)..

The weather has been fantastic here, wall to wall sunshine for the past three or four days, but we all know that we will pay for it within the week, so, make the most of it...

Really want to get into the garden, but those great big stripey spiders have taken over and I'm going no where near them at the moment,nope, no way!!!! So, enjoy the rest of your weekend and have a wonderful Sunday...

My gift to you...

http://www.duirwaighgallery.com/inspiration_aknock.htm

Autumn Equinox/Mabon/Second Harvest

Have a wonderful day and many blessings to you all~...

No title today!

It seems i have been suffering from Panic attacks, now this has shocked me a little as i always thought myself to be a confident and strong women, but it seems as i enter my Crone stage of my life i am suffering a little from depression and this has lead to some attacks of panic, why i would feel the need to panic in a store or at the Doctors is beyond me. But now i know whats wrong i am taking the steps to get myself back on track with who i am.

About 2 weeks ago i started to use St. Johns Wort and this should start to kick in within the next week or two. When i feel myself tensing and my stomach turns at the thought off going out i can now tell myself that I'm OK and that i do have to go out and there is nothing out there that i should be worried about, and if the locals want to take at look at this beautiful and unique women, then please carry on, be my guest..

Iv been really thinking about investing in a sewing machine and who do i find out who has one they are about to sell, my sister, yep, she kept that one quiet, so hopefully in the next week or two i will be able to pick it up and start sewing all the things i have going around in my creative head.

I love spending hours looking at other peoples blogs and I'm always fascinated at the crafty ones, like felt making , dying wool, scrap book making, the list goes on and so i have been inspired and that creative women that's been a little hidden over the past few years is itching to get out.. so, expect to see a lot of my crafty ideas and works being presented to you all, well, when i eventually get that new camera for Yule you will...

The big bang machine

My son came home from school yesterday convinced that we are all going to die today due to the switch on of the Big Bang Machine!, so, no reassurance from me was doing the trick, i found this info on SKY NEWS website and I'm hoping it will settle his nerves...

The Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland could turn the world of physics on its head.

But what exactly is it and what will the biggest particle accelerator ever built do? Here are the answers to some of your questions:

What's the point of this experiment?

Scientists are trying to unlock the secrets and answer unresolved questions about the universe. There are fundamental gaps in our basic understanding of physics and how the universe works. The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) will recreate conditions just after the Big Bang (the theory that a massive explosion created the universe) and may help to fill in missing knowledge. Physicists hope the experiment will help them understand what the universe is made of, what propels its expansion and predict its future.

How does it work?

Inside the accelerator, two beams of particles will travel in opposite directions at close to the speed of light. Thousands of magnets of different varieties and sizes will direct the beams around the accelerator. Because the particles are so small, another type of magnet is used to squeeze them closer together to encourage them to collide.
Scientists hope previously unseen particles will be discovered in the debris when beams smash together. The new particles are expected to provide new leads for physicists and may confirm existing theories.

What is the Higgs particle?

The Higgs particle is a theoretical idea to explain mass in the universe but it has never been proved. The theory suggests particles had no mass just after the Big Bang. When the temperature fell, an invisible force field was formed. When particles interact with the field they become heavier. If scientists could identify the Higgs particle or field using the LHC, it would explain why some particles have a greater mass than others and would support the current understanding of how particles work.

What if they don't find anything?

They may find no new particles which would be a setback for scientists trying to secure funding for the next generation collider machine. If they cannot prove the existence of the Higgs particle, it would mean theories about matter and mass have been developing along the wrong track for decades. Many scientists might consider that an exciting prospect because they would have to start theorising from scratch.

Who is involved in this?

The new particle accelerator might be buried along the Swiss-French border but it has attracted researchers from 80 countries. The £2.4bn project has mostly been financed by 20 European member states but the US and Japan are major contributors with observer status. Ten thousand scientists from 500 different institutions have been involved in developing the LHC.

When can we expect the results?

It has already taken two decades to get this far and it will take another two months just to get the proton beams colliding. The data recorded will fill around 100,000 DVDs every year but physicists may have to wait between five and 10 years before they get any significant results.

What are the risks?

Sceptics have filed suits in the US District Court in Hawaii and the European Court of Human Rights to stop the project. They claim the experiment will create a big black hole which could suck up all life on Earth. Several safety reviews of the LHC have been carried out which show there is no measurable risk.

Will it create black holes?

Nature forms black holes when stars collapse on themselves at the end of their lives. There is some speculation that the LHC could produce microscopic black holes. If they were created, they would evaporate away very quickly and would be too small to suck in any matter. The accelerator may help scientists understand more about black holes.

What impact will this experiment have on everyday life?

The work carried out by scientists at the European Nuclear Research Centre might seem far removed from everyday life, but it does push the boundaries of existing technologies and engineering in a way that can be adapted to benefit us all. For example, earlier work led to the creation of the internet.
Scientists working on the LHC have also created the "grid" which is described as the next generation internet and is 10,000 times faster than most broadband connections.

Tiredness and Egg Sandwiches

I awoke at 4.25 AM this morning and i laid there for 30 minutes trying to go back to sleep, outside was so quiet, not even the birds were awake! In the end about 5 AM i rose and went downstairs, put the kettle on and did my usual visit of cybar space..

Still get dizzy spells, although they are less frequent. Got to see the Doctor again next Wednesday.

Well, its almost 6.30 AM and two eggs are boiling ready to make egg sandwiches for Sage's dinner, so i shall leave this post as it is for now. Have a wonderful day all~...

Phew!

The ECG results showed all was well, so that's good news and the Doctor says its OK to start working out again, Phew! However, that's still not explained these dizzy spells and feeling of wanting to pass out all the time.. But.. the word, PANIC ATTACK, keeps being thrown at me! Why would all of a sudden, would i start to get these? I must admit the day of that first feeling was not long after i had made an appointment at the Dentist (again) and i knew that this time they would peel the skin back on my gum and i was shitting myself. But why would i still be getting the spells, 10 days on? I do have another appointment to see the Doctor on the 10th, so we shall see what else and what other tests they have in store for me!

Lost skin and scrapes

Iv not been to well lately, iv been experiencing fainting spells, with the feeling of being sick. The doctor came out to me last Friday and i was given some anti biotics, due to the infection in my gum, that two previous trips to the dentist and two lot's of medication failed to take the infection away! Although the tablets have made the gum more bearable, there are still moments of wanting to pass out! Friday i will have an ECG test done and more can be assessed after that, hope i get the all clear, iv not worked out for two weeks and im already feeling the effects!

Can you believe it's September in a few days?, iv noticed the mornings are getting darker already! But this summer has been lousy, iv lost a lot of food in the garden, no runner beans this year and the tomatoes are in very short supply..

Sage goes back to school next Wednesday, he will enter year eight, which back in my day was the second year of secondary school, i believe he's looking forward to getting back, but will miss his time at the skate park! Sage went on a train with his friends for the first time last weekend and i was a bag of nerves, i kept thinking he is only 12 and shouldn't be so independent yet, but then i think yes he is 12, almost 13 and its a good thing hes so independent! Plus it also lets him know that i trust him to make the right decisions and do the right thing.. Mind you he phoned me a few hours later, having had a little accident on his Skates and scrapping the skin of his nose and chin!

Iv got to enter the unknown today, money still needs to go into the bank to pay the bills, ill or not ill, so a gentle walk and plenty of places to rest is on the cards this morning....

Like snow? Count the number of fogs.

According to folklore, “For every fog in August, there will be a snowfall.”

More August folklore includes:

“If the first week in August is unusually warm, the coming winter will be snowy and long.”

“If a cold August follows a hot July, it foretells a winter hard and dry.”

Look closer, it's the little things in life that make you happy!

Look closer, for you will see it.. See, a baby Blackbird! This little fella was born and raised within the garden and still visits to this day, the picture was taken about June though, i was pottering around in the garden and there he was.. I had to shout to my son to get his phone and take a picture, which the bird allowed before leaving..
It's the little things like this that truely make you happy!

Total Randomness

Total randomness, my son took this picture a while ago now and iv just found it in the picture file and thought i would post it upon the blog. I love how he did it and have no idea how it was done on his mobile! He has mentioned lately he would love a 'real' camera for Yule, so he can take really cool pictures and see if he has a talent and a gift with it.. Im treating myself to one for Yule so i may as well buy two at the same time...

Have a wonderful weekend all~..

Gale force winds in the face

Just a quickie this morning.. But the weather is shit, feels like the beginning of winter out there, always raining and always a gale of a wind blowing in your face, which annoys me more than the rain!

Still a Non Smoker, Yay, the money saved every month, certaintly helps and has become an incentive to never smoke again!.. Must enter the unknown today, and see what the Universe has in store..

Summer Sun and Summer Storms

What a naughty blogger i am, it's been a few months since i last left anything on the blog, but then i do, do these things.. Set up a blog and have every intention of writing there most days and before i know it, the novety has worn off..

Any how, we had the first harvest and to celebrate my sister and i went to a Barndance at our local animal park, wasn't as fun as i remember in my youth, but the money went towards the animals up keep...

August has welcomed us with rain and cloudy Autumn skies, i thought we had at least 6 more weeks of gentle summer before that all kicked in?

The picture you see at the top of the page are the birds we saw at the Medieval Festival Sage and myself go to every year, sorry, but thats the only picture i managed to take and then i took it on my phone! It's a wonderful weekend and one of the few free festivals going in the Summer..

Well, its that time of the year when you know the children will be going back to school soon and we will enter Autumn and before we know it, the grip of Winter will be upon us, i hope that with the price of fuel and food increasing almost on a daily occurance that we can all manage to get through the Winter safe and warm..

Blessings on this beautiful Beltane

Beltane arrived yesterday in the form of the wonderful Hawthorne Flower.. The smell makes you dizzy with summer.

Today will be my fifth day as a Non- Smoker, and im so proud of myself! Iv tried to give up in the past and found it really hard, but this time its a little easier with the help of the patches and the inhaler...

Iv been doing some research into the 'New World Order' and the thoughts of people like David Icke, and although a lot of what he says makes sense, he then loses credability with me with the mention of the Reptilians! Nontheless, very intreasting reading, and something i think we should all read and inform ourselves about~..

A Non-Smoker

Today, i become a non-smoker! After smoking for about 25 years, and trying to give up a few times, today is the day that i have my smokers patch on my arm and my nicorette inhaler at the ready.. The patch makes my arm ache a little and is a little uncomfortable and iv already used the inhaler, and so far i have passed that first cigarette in the morning buisness, Yay, for me! Im very aware to what i eat and i dont drink, so why im still smoking is an egnima to me, but like iv already said, iv tried to give up a few times and failed after a few hours,but then i didn't have any medical help those times so im keeping my fingers crossed. The trick is to think, im not going to smoke today and get through this day only, think about tomorrow when it arrives!

The weather has been amazing here in the UK and i spent some time in the garden yesterday, planting bulbs and pulling up some of the weeds.. Iv got to plant some vegetables soon, i think i can assume the frosts are over now!

Beltane was on May 1st, but for me not until the Hawthorne flower has bloomed do i celebrate, and as that has not blossomed yet, i have yet to celebrate.. I do belive it flowered early last year, and we had all that rain and floods! So maybe its a sign that we have better weather to come this year, something to note.. Any how, blessings to all you that celebrated on the first, only another 6 weeks until Midsummers Day,along with Yule is one of my favorite Sabbats..

Ladies, re-cycle your bras!

What can I do with my old bras?

Much as I would love to reveal an inventive domestic use, there are some things that you don't want hanging around in your kitchen. Chances are your local charity won't accept them either as it's virtually impossible to resell underwear, unless it's fresh as a daisy and still in its box.

Oxfam is an exception. Although it shares this general policy of not reselling underwear, its recycling plant in Huddersfield, Wastesavers, reveals that bras are “invaluable revenue-generating items” - not something your greying M&S job will have been called before. Clothes that cannot be sold in shops end up here, when the material is either recycled, if the item is damaged, or sold to traders who send them to developing countries.


http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/environment/article3772539.ece

Dry, sore skin

My face has broken out into a dry itchy mess!, I think i may have put too much Lavender oil in my water when i washed my dreads!! So yesterday i washed them again, this time without the oil, but my face still feels all sore and itchy this morning..

Spring has brought some nice weather with her, especially the tempeture, now its a little warmer we can finally not have the heating on and manage to save a little money from the fuel we would use, which all helps now that food prices has risen in the shops! What is this crazy world coming too? things are going a little too crazy all over the planet, but then we cant expect anythng too much from the leaders we all have, they have thought about nothing but lining their own pockets for far too long and this is the fall out!

Got up this morning and put the bins out for the bin men and theres a pile of rubbish floating about the street, why? i thought that we all paid our taxes so that this would all be cleaned up, i dont know about where you live but theres rubbish everywhere i go and i hate repeating myself all the time, but the amount of glass thats on the streets is discusting!

Anyhow onwards and upwards, i need to put some Aloe Vera on my dry sore skin and get on with my day, so that i no longer become lost within a City..

Universe, i thank you!

The Bluebells are out and i picked up my certificate yesterday, i even have a phone number to ring regarding a carers post! The Univerese heard my call and answered, for this i thank you. Small steps towards fleeing this concreate jungle.

Oh, how time is flying!

Well, that's the Carers course all done and dusted, i was quite surprised to discover today that i had finished it and all i have to do now is wait for my certificate and then get a job, Yay, let the fun begin..

Sage celebrated his 12th birthday on the 31st of March so, that's almost a teenager! Springs finally here, you can feel it in the warmth of the sun now and the birds defently feel it also..Im hoping that the frosts have finally passed so i can get some bulbs into the garden, and plant some veggies!

Really naughty today and eat a whole bag of chocolate rasins! LOL, YUM YUM! **Smacks lips**

Ostara Blessings

I know that the Spring Equinox was offically yesterday, but i was unable to post, so here i am~.. Wishing you all a very merry Ostara and a Happy Easter to all you Christians out there~ The days are now getting longer and Mother Earth has awoken from her slumber, the birds are rejoicing and the buds on the trees are beginning to bloom~.. The days will get warmer and the flowers will bloom, i love this time of year~ Have a wonderful weekend all~

No, its only 4 am!

I am so tired. I have a disabled Cat that likes to wake me up at 4 am, he's been really good lately and has not been jumping on my head until about 6 am and this i can cope with, but 4 am is a little too early. The thing is that i can not seem to go back to sleep, if i try he likes to get onto the bed and jump on my head until i get up, little monkey! But what can you do, he needs the toilet and his breakfast and so i have to get up... Normally i like this time in the morning, to be alone with the Dawn is a pleasure, but what with the Carers course, im mentally tired and so need a little bit more sleep.. Lets hope that he is just going through a stage and eventually settles down again until 6am..

The Dryads Tale

I read this today on a forum called A Witch Alone, which the link can be found in my links section and i loved it, it moved me and touched my soul..

Its taken from a book called; The World of Faires by Gossomer Penwyche

The Dryads Tale…

I stand alone now on the ancient land of my home. There was a time, not so long ago, when I and many thousands of my sisters lied on this once great land together. My family was magnificent forest of oak, cedar, pine and birch. My sisters and I had many children who have all now gone. They the birds and beasts, who lived in our branches, ate our fruit and spread our seeds.

Hordes of creatures struggled daily for their lives. They rejoiced, grieved, played and fought. Fed, starved lived and dies, in great numbers to many to count, over time too long to be measure. I watched their awesome toil for two hundred full turns of the seasons, and then nothing. But I stand here and remember. I stand sentinel to the memory of the lost creatures of this land, and to my own ancestors whose vital juices still flow in my vain.

I once had a name, but I have no need for it now. For there is no one or nothing to remember me. All living forms that could move did so – far away, I know not where. They ran, flew, crawled and burrowed. Slithered and swan away from here. Despite the pleas from my sisters and I. Perhaps they thought we had betrayed them. But that is not so.

My sisters were sacrificed to the mighty beasts, so hard and unbending we could not with stand them. They lumbered and roared among us tearing us down with their shiny claws and their thundering blows. Those monsters, so hard, so resistant, with out any soul, felled us by the thousand, day after day, season after season. Until there were no more. Save for me alone. But I am not done. Oh no not yet.

I am proud of my sisters for they did not go down with out a fight. You may well wonder how we, who can not move from where we stand and must bend or brake to unconscionable tyranny, can oppose such a fierce enemy. It is because we have the power of the place. We stand our ground. You may laugh and say we have no choice, but you are wrong.

One by one my sisters fell I heard their scream of fear and pain. I heard them rail against the fates, and I heard them beg for their lives. But those horrid, rolling monsters aided by those false, sharp tongued with their hundreds of little teeth were deaf to my sisters pleas. Perhaps they could not hear over the clamor of their grumbling war cries. No sound of the forest could be match such a dreadful din; not the roar of the lion or the bear, nor the thunder of the water falling over a chasm. The only sounds more dreadful were the sounds of my sister as they fell to the ground. What cries or portent they were. All the animals, birds and insects heard and understood, so did all the waters flowing, as did the flowers, grasses that lay at our feet. For the final cries of my sister spirits were curses deep and dark. “A curse in thee and all your kind” they cried. “Cursed be your children and cursed be your homes. May the darkness you create come and swallow you whole. My sister’s hexes made my leaves tremble and fall. No wind could shake me as those words did that echoes across the land.

The rampage continued for so many seasons that I dared not count them any longer. Finally the rolling monsters dragged away the last of the empty, lifeless shells of my sisters. Silence fell at last upon the barren land. But it was not the full, serene silence I had known before the enemy came. How different is the stillness of death from the stillness that exists when all nature sings, when life bursts forth and then passes at its proper time. There was daily life and death chaos and commotion in my forest home, but it has gone away forever, as I must, too.
The spirits of wind and rain have not stopped their mourning. The winds howl their rage, the lakes and rivers overflow and flood the land with their tears. Then the droughts come and the sun burns the despoiled earth. Nothing grows, nothing lives. Together, my sisters and I were once able to protect the earth from some of nature’s wrath. But I am alone now. Mt sister’s curses have come to pass. There is no magic that can undo our fate and save the world.


Now I die, too, for my time has come.
I am the last tree.
Who will remember me?

Earth Hour

Created to take a stand against the greatest threat our planet has ever faced, Earth Hour uses the simple action of turning off the lights for one hour to deliver a powerful message about the need for action on global warming.

This simple act has captured the hearts and minds of people all over the world. As a result, at 8pm March 29, 2008 millions of people in some of the world’s major capital cities, including Copenhagen, Toronto, Chicago, Melbourne, Brisbane and Tel Aviv will unite and switch off for Earth Hour.


http://www.earthhour.org/

Battery Hen Welfare Trust

Sign this petition to urge Cadbury's to stop using eggs from battery farmed chickens.
Simple as that.

http://www.bhwt.org.uk/creme-eggs.php

Cities new look

Heres just a couple of pictures that i took today while i was out with the dog.. These particular pictures are taken down an alleyway thats behind some houses..
I wont even go into the amount of broken glass that's about, that's another post with another picture.. Next time im behind Asdas alleyway i will take a picture of the crap thats there, normally its full of beer cans and broken bottles and the amount of plastic bags thats there is almost like a carpet!

Small steps towards the countryside

Ooooh, today i begin my Carers course, so i have sandwiches to make and a flask of tea to prepare, wish me luck!

A symbol of our times

Everywhere i look this is what im seeing, plastic bags are covering the trees, invading the countryside and our streams and i would say that we should all be ashamed of ourselves.. Opposite me there's a tree with about 3 bags in it, on my way to town everywhere i look, this is what i am seeing.. The worst place i would have to say its down a footpath that leads to a local supermarket, there's rubbish everywhere and loads of plastic bags are caught in the trees and the bushes! Where's the local council getting rid of this crap?, isn't this why we pay taxes?.. If i could reach up into the trees i bloody would..
This is the reason we should avoid using plactic bags, these will eventually break down and the wildlife will mistake the pellets for food, and we are killing them, how and when did we get so selfish? This saddens me and when i get my new camera im going to take pictures of all the plastic crap i see, then i will post them here and to the local council as well as the Prime Minister..

Just a little fun on Mothers Day

What type of Fae are you?

On the verge of Spring

Springs coming, which means i can start to plant my veggies. This year iv decided to grow potatoes, runner beans, peas, tomatoes, pumpkin, well a couple as they take up a lot of room, and strawberries... Think thats all iv got room for this year, if i have some space i will add a couple of sweetcorns in amoung the flowers.. Iv also got some summer bulbs to plant and i want to add some more country cottage flowers and more herbs, but i have to wait until the last frosts have been and gone.. But it will soon be the Spring Equinox and the days will be getting lighter and warmer, can't wait!

Plastic society

Plastic bags and plastic food coverings are becoming the bane of our lives... M&S have decided to sell their carriar bags at 5p a go and will give the money to green spaces.. This is all well and good, but is not solving the problem, stop providing them in the first place! Im always amazed when i go shopping at the amount of people that still choose to use plastic bags as a way of transporting their goods home..Their trollies are piled high with them and these same people will then use the car to get it all home, do they not feel ashamed? i know i would...
A lot of supermarkets provide canves bags now and there are plenty of cardboard boxes to pack your goods into... Whats with all these plastic bags that are covering our fruit and vegetables?, theres really no need our wonderful mother earth provides them with skin!
The new debate is tap verses bottle water, water that is bottled say in another country, thousands of miles away and then sold here in Britian, but wait theres a flaw with this, many local people, mainly the poor, are drinking dirty polluted water, while the clean fresh stuff is being sold in really posh and expensive resturants all over the world!!!! What the F**** is that all about? how is that possible? How can a company take fresh water, sell it to the richer countries, yet know that the locals are still drinking dirty water and dying from it? That, well, leaves me gob smacked! Then all those millions and millions of water bottles are then discarded onto the beaches, woodlands and nature reserves to eventually break down into plastic pellets, for the wildlife to eat and then die out, what are we doing?, think people, think!
Can we as intellent animals really be that f****** stupid!!

Whatever!

They say, as you get older the more your confidence grows and as true as that may be in some aspects of life, it's not true of others. Im going to be 40 this year and it seems im not as confident as i was say 20 years ago.Im starting to question the way i look, the clothes that i wear and the dreads that adorn my head! About 2 years ago, i started to feel this way, that i didn't know who i was any more, i kept questioning... me.. And so i took a pair of scissors to my waist length dreads and cut them all off.. At first it felt great but i soon started to regreat it, i even tried to dress more like a 'late 30 something', however that may be, but i felt wrong, i didn't feel like me any more and so, about 7 and half months ago i re-locked my hair and started down the neglete route... But im still fighting with this little voice in my head that keeps saying, ''your going to be 40 this year, should'nt you have grown out of this by now?'' But then i think, this is who i am and i don't want to change that, why should i change who i am because society says that it's wrong and thats not how we should be doing things, and so, i will put two fingers up to what they think and keep my head up high..
A friend said to me once, would i cut my locks in order to get the job i wanted and i replyed, but why would i?, if im capable of doing the job, then why would my hair be an issue?, if i was a coloured person with dreads would that still be an issue?, why is it so because im actually white? And if the person hiring me thinks just that then i wouldn't want the job in the first place.. Iv had dreads for over 10 years and its never been a problem job wise before, its not like i want to run for Prime Minister... is it?...
And what buisness is it of anybodies if i want to look a certain way, live a certain way, im not harming anyone, we should all worry about our own lives and how we conduct that, than what someone else is wearing whether that be their clothes or the way their wear their hair...
And so, 40 years of age or 80, im going to hold my head up high and embrace who i truely am!

It's all about me

Overslept this morning, which is very unlike me as i like to get up at the crack of dawn, so my body must have needed more rest to repair itself... Must say, im feeling a lot better this morning, so i may even do a workout in a few hours. I miss not doing my exersises when im ill, makes my body feel sluggish... I do box exersise, so i will take it easy this morning, let my body slowly ease into it once again.
Sage is feeling better, just in time for school tomorrow, bless him, he's been off for half term and spent it all being ill.. The skies blue this morning, and not as cold as its been of late, so after the chores have been done, i might get to spend some time in the garden, preparing some beds for some bulbs iv been saving for, although i shall wait until the end of April before i plant them, in case there are some late frosts to come..
Iv been thinking about buying a sewing machine, any sewing that i do, do, is all done by hand, and iv been saving up scraps of materials from clothes and other material thats meant something to me, in order to make a quilt, and eventually, i will need a sewing machine to make it look better at the end... I would also love to knit, so thats another hobby i want to get my teeth into.. And as well as that i really would love a new digital camera, my old ones not so great anymore and i miss not going out taking pictures of Gaia. Oh dear, its all about me this morning! Anyhow, time to make another cuppa and get on with the day, so, until next time..

Escaping the City

Well, as hard as i tried to go to the market yesterday, i never actually made it out of the door..Once i had stopped being sick, i had to crawl back onto the sofa, with a box of tissues and some duff TV... Sage was great and went to the local corner shop to get some food for the cats and the dog, so i had been given another day to try and get better from this flu bug!
After sleeping well, although my nose is still red and swollen, i feel like i could make it outside into some fresh air this morning. The city is going to be crawling this morning and i always make a point of NOT going into the centre on a Saturday, but i need to go and get a new shopping trolly, my other one broke on Tuesday. There's a bright pink one with white spirals on that's caught my eye, that'll get me noticed!
My course starts on the 6th March, 10.30 am till 2.30 pm, which is great, cause it gives me time to do my housework and workouts in the morning and then i can get home in time for when Sage gets in from school. It's not for long and apparently they find you a work placement, so not only are you getting the qualifications that you need, your also getting the experience thats needed.. Yay, i can not wait to get out there and start earning a living, so that myself and Sage can eventually escape this City life!

Into the Unknown

We are ill. We have had the flu and our house has been a no go area! My head feels like it will explode and my nose is running like a swollen river. We have hidden away in the house for the past few days but i really have to go to the market today, we need more vegetables and tissues. Sages' holiday break has been horrible for him, where he would be out having fun with his friends, he's been stuck in this flu invested box with his mam, oh the joys of being ill!! So it's a case of wrapping up warm and stepping into the unknown!

Sore throats and Chickens

Oh how i love these frosty Febuary mornings... The suns still low in the sky and the birds are singing in the trees and you know that those Summer days are only around the corner... Let me first credit the photograher Nathan Neely for the beautiful capture of the trees you see at the beginning of this post.

Tomorrow, i go and start a course that i hope will eventually lead me into a decent job, i wont say much more here, until i have been to the appointment tomorrow and know more myself..

Sage is feeling a little under the weather, i think he may have a cold, but then when you refuse to wear a coat and a scarf because of vanity reasons, you end up getting a chill.So, my little Sage is curled up under a duvet, playing on his PS2... He refuses to drink my homemade Lemon and Honey soother, knowing that it will soothe his throat, because he doesnt like it, iv said i will add a little sugar, but still he refuses...

Sage and i have talked about getting a couple of Chickens for such a long time now and we had decided that if we have not them by Yuletide this year we will buy them and their home as a Yuletide present to us both. Sage has offered not to have as many presents so that we can afford to get them, YAY! Now that coming from a 12 year old boy who lives for his skateboarding and his music is a present within itself.. Thank you Sage, mama loves you too.

Earthlings

I saw the most shocking video yesterday, if i was not already a vegetarian, i certainly would be one now. This film was so powerful, that i could not watch it all the way through, i stopped viewing after about 30 minutes, and i could not stop crying for the rest of the afternoon. What was the film? Earthlings, and it was showing how the food we eat, the pets we buy and the clothes we wear are brought to us and it was cruel, so cruel! I can not belive that there are people out there that do this for a living and then sleep at night, their heart and souls must be black!

Those images will stay with me now for life, i knew that this went on, but when its on the news i tend to close my eyes to the images, it makes me really angry and upsets me too much... The worse thing is that you or i can NOT do anything about this, we CAN'T stop this no matter how hard we try, what can we do? Sure we can stop eating meat, stop wearing clothes that are produced from animals and research where our pets are coming from, but this WILL carry on.. Unless, we all stand togeather and make a stand that this world has never seen, im afraid, its never going to happen, there are to many evil people on this planet that will stop anyone of us from stopping their cruelty, just so they can line their greedy little pockets with more money...

If this is the food we are eating, no wonder there is so much cruel and evilness in this world, how can we as spiritual humans, eat something that has been inhumanly and with such cruelty killed, all that suffering is within that meat and you are eating it... The very essence of that animal has gone into your body, and is fueling you as you go about your day... Something to think upon!

Wanna watch the film? http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1282796533661048967

The Hills Have Eyes

Theres a couple of things that bother me regarding travelling and living in a mobile home. As a single women how safe is it really out there? I love the thought of doing it alone but i often think about the what ifs... If there are any females out there that come across this blog and travel alone please tell me how you cope with it all.. Do you park up where there are others or are you quite safe alone in the middle of nowhere, and what if you run into trouble? how do you get out of it?

I can imagine the first few nights are a little scary, till you learn to get over it and maybe stop watching those horror films like 'Wolf Creek' and 'The Hills have Eyes'! LOL... Still we cant let our fears stop us from living the life we so crave.. Even the thought of living in a cottage in the middle of nowhere has its moments, but then you do have the added bonus of stone walls and not a metal frame. Maybe, one day when im ready the Goddess will send me my Scottish Knight, to travel and live in the same manner as me and share the fun and love of the land.. We shall see. Maybe theres a soul mate out there also lost within the City.. (((Grins)))

Walking a different path

To me, Cities are unnatural places, houses that are too close togeather, concreate everywhere you look, plastic bags adorn nearby trees and nature has to fight daily, with the rubbish we humans disregard at every given moment.. Cars, almost like bugs, speed along highways and side roads, killing yet more of nature and the inhabitants of Gaia. Smog chokes your lungs, and the smell of the City is enougth to send you running to the hills.

I haven't always lived here, iv been lucky enougth to travel throughout the land of the Britions. From the Highlands to the tip of the south in Cornwall. My favorite place is Glen Co, up in the Highlands, Scotland. I fell in love with the hills and the solitude the first time i went through this magical place and one day i intend on returning, hopefully in my converted bus, to blend away into the hills and be at one with this humble place.

Next week, my life is about to take a different turn and hopefully lead me one step closer to fulfilling that dream of escaping the City, i long for it and embrace whatever comes my way, i feel excited and yet nervous at finally getting back into the mainstream. Who knows where this path is taking me, as long as im no longer lost within the City, anything could be a blessing..

Bluebells and Chickens

The moon had an amazing look to her last night, although its a waxing new moon, you could make out the rest of the orb, stars were bright but the tempeture dropped as it does on these wonderful early spring evenings..Waking up to another spring day makes you happy, you know that the cycle of the elements and natures wheel turns yet again and the summer will drift in before you know it..

Sage is still in slumber world, hes at that age now where he likes to stay up a little later than his mum,makes him feel like hes the only one awake in this big wide world.

Down my street there are a lot of bins outside peoples homes and yet the street looks like a Shanty town, why is it that when there are bins right in front of you, people still choose to chuck their rubbish on the roads and pavements? That really makes no sense to me at all! And what is it with men and kicking over all the bins at 3 am in the morning? Is that what drinking too much does to them? For some bizarre reason they have to kick everyones bins over, so not only do they wake everyone up, they have scattered yet more crap onto the streets!

Its amazing that when the first signs of spring presents itself how fast it advances.. It was not too long ago when i went into the garden at Yuletide, and the earth was deep in slumber, then a few weeks ago i noticed the first signs of Daffodiles gently pushing their way through the earth, even the Bluebells have surfaced from their slumber early and it was these that i noticed well before the Snowdrops, which to me is the first sign that Spring is on her way. Sundays are nice in the mornings, if you get into the garden, its quiet and sometimes if your real lucky you can hear the bells from the local church chime, and for a while it makes me forget that im lost within a City, but really working on my own bit of land and that soon the chickens and the ducks will waddle over, to nudge me gently for their breakfast..

Songs of the Blackbirds

I love early mornings.. Everything is so quiet and new. Only the birds can be heard, its my favorite time of the day and allows me to set myself up for whatever may be thrown at me as i travel throughout the day. The suns risen nicely this morning and you know its going to be a beauitful Spring like day. A wonderful day to get into the garden and aid it from its winter slumber.. Compost needs to spread around the garden and weeds need to be pulled, ready for the new shoots and plants that will inhabit my space on this planet for another year. All this will be done once i have ventured into the unknown and collected a few bits from the local Supermarket. Oh, how i hate going there, buying foods that have travelled thousands of miles and cost the earth and its inhabitants, in most cases, life... Theres a little fruit and veg stall just around the corner from me, you would think that this would be better, but the fruits and vegetables have not travelled locally, but across the globe, sometimes in the summer months he has local vegetables from allotements, and thats when i tend to visit him more, thats if i haven't grown my own..

I hate all that plastic the supermarkets wrap their foods in, theres really no need for all that.. Vegetables and most fruit have their own skins to protect them, we can take our own bags rather than use their 'free' plastic bags! Mind you it wont be long before the season to forage is upon us, free cherries, blackberries and nuts, yay!

I like to take the back routes to the market, through the field that backs upon the railway lines, through a couple of alleys, and within 15 minutes im there, and most of the time i may not see a car or another human until i get into the carpark of the market and then its all noise and hustle and bustle from there onwards, then i have to fight my way through noisy crowds, just to get a few essentials, what is it with people and their trollies?, why on earth would you want to stand in the middle of the ailes yapping to someone, you really don't want to be talking to anyway, why would you want to stand in everyone elses way, and then look at them like they have done something wrong!

Anyhow, a few chores and then into the garden, and for a while, i can forget that im lost within a City....

Lost within a City

I hate it here..Lost within a City, that i hate! Where would i much rather be?, lost within a meadow, living off the land with my own chickens and the odd goat... A horse with a little carraige to get around in would be great, vegetables growing on my own little space on Gaia, with only the birds, trees and nature for company...

This is my life, and how im going to put the above into reality, no matter how long it takes, im going to live that dream, of how life really should be.

Im a 39 year old single mum to one child, well i say child, he's almost 12 years of age now and in ancient cultures, well on his way to becoming a man, in this blog, he will be known as Sage, and me, well you can call me Meadow.

We live in a City in the UK, its an old Roman City, right on the brink of beautiful countryside, but i hate living here.. I spend hours dreaming of getting out of here, and living in an old converted bus, trailer, even an old train that iv spotted abandoned on the railway lines near the field where i take our Collie for walks and where i like to commune with nature, if thats at all possible it a dirty, grim filled City, full of Chaves and drunks... Get out, i hear you say, stop complaining and just leave, if you hate it that much, but.. its not as easy as you think and belive me, i have tried... I don't own my own house and i don't really have a great job, i went back to college and then Uni to change all that, but when you are travelling over 100 miles a day and on a low income and the car gets broken into and you cant afford to have it repaired, you tend to put these things on hold until things get a little better.. Well a few years later and Sage a little older, im going back to work, and in just over a weeks time i will embark on the first step to living that dream and getting out of this City..

I live in a 2 bedroom terraced house, neighbourhoods ok, but the summer can be a nightmare, idiots with their music so loud in their cars that my windows shake and sometimes i have to close the windows just so i don't have to listen to their crappy music! At least i have my garden to escape to, here i have tried to recreate a woodland theme, wild flowers, herbs a couple of trees and as much wildlife i can persuade to visit, with birdhouses and tables filled with nuts and seeds. Each summer i grow my own vegetables, as much as my little plot allows me to and here i dream of having a couple of chickens, one day soon.. But then the sounds of the city drift in and i am once again reminded that im lost within a City.